


i didn't ask for your advice, not really

by youheldyourbreath



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: F/M, Peter (in a way) gets advice from some Avengers on the MJ thing, and Vision catches Peter in the midst of the most embarrassing thing, and by in a way its really vague, because Avengers are not good at listening to teenagers, in fact its all kind of an embarrassing mess, which makes everything 10x worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-10 22:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11701443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youheldyourbreath/pseuds/youheldyourbreath
Summary: Peter gets individual advice from quite a few Avengers about his feelings for MJ. And while none of their advice is exactly sound it does help push him in the right direction. Sort of.





	i didn't ask for your advice, not really

The first person he asks for advice on MJ, completely by accident, is Vision. After Thanos' War, Tony makes good on his promise to put Peter's quarters next to Vision's room. A newly indoctrinated Avenger, apparently living next to Thanos is the superhero equivalent of hazing and Peter is the fresh meat. During training, because Peter still has one year left of high school he's gotta complete once the summer is done, living next door to Vision is an adventure.

Vision is not really a computer, he's not really a person, so his manners and people skills leave something to be desired.

Nothing is more terrifying than waking up in the middle of the night because Vision is walking through the walls to get to his room. Right through Peter's bed. He may have screamed the first few times. The rest of the team definitely laughed.

And it's because of that stupid walking through walls trick that makes Vision the first person he talks to about his crush on MJ. Because Vision manages to morph into Peter's room in the middle of the night while Peter is...while Peter is doing a nightly activity and MJ's name is on his lips.

"Physical stimulation, Mr. Parker?" Vision observes from where he floats in Peter's room.

Peter yells and tanks the sheets up around his waist, "What the hell, Vision? You can't just. You shouldn't just. This is my room!"

"Apologies, Peter. I was merely going to bed myself." Vision offers a congenial smile.

"Get out!" Peter yelps.

The following morning Peter has still not recovered from the embarrassment and Vision doesn't make it any easier to forget when he sits down next to him at breakfast and politely asks, "Who is Michelle?"

Peter buries his red face in his cereal, "Come on, man."

Vision doesn't relent, "Is she your partner?"

"No," Peter squeaks. He clears his throat and tries again, "No. She's just a girl I go to school with."

"But-" Vision tries to piece out, "You were stimulating yourself as you thought about her."

"Dude," Peter drops his spoon in his bowl, "Can you not?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Vision insists, which Peter can't help but be suspicious of. Vision doesn't get embarrassed like normal people, nothing seems to faze him. Everything is fact, everything is reason and if Vision doesn't understand why being caught jacking off is embarrassing Peter can't explain that to him. "No," Vision continues, obviously sensing Peter's discomfort, "It isn't. I pleasure myself regularly with thoughts of Wanda. And, sometimes, we engage in sexual activity to our mutual pleasure."

Peter offhandedly wonders if he can stab himself with his spoon. Then, almost like an afterthought, he shyly asks, "How did you do that? With Wanda?"

"Ah," Vision sits taller, "I insert my-"

"No! No, no, no," Peter shakes his head. "Not," he groans, "Not that. I know how that works. I'm talking about...how do you get a girl you like to...like you back?"

"There is no secret to mine and Wanda's happiness," Vision says after a moment of contemplation. "I am myself as she is herself."

"So," Peter pushes his cereal with his spoon dejectedly, "Be myself?"

"Precisely."

And while he doesn't take the advice to heart, he does have trouble looking Vision in the eye for two weeks.

So that's something.

The next Avenger he talks to about MJ is Doctor Banner. It gets around the compound really quickly that Vision caught Peter rubbing one out because Vision tells everyone. All of the guys spend every bit of every day ribbing him about it and the only place he finds a stitch of silence is in Doctor Banner's lab because, well, he's MIA, again.

After Bucky and Natasha got together, apparently they knew each other way back when in Russia, Doctor Banner went a little rogue. He pops in and out when he feels like it, but the Hulk becomes less and less of a staple of the team and more of the occasional MVP.

Peter is banking on Doctor Banner being out of town all summer, so when he goes hiding on the fifth day of teasing and finds Doctor Banner back in his lab he tries not to look so disappointed.

Bruce notices, "I can go, if you want."

"No," Peter jumps in, "Its your lab. I just have been..."

"Hiding," Doctor Banner finishes for him. "I've heard."

Peter flushes, "I really hate living next to Vision."

"Oh, it's not so bad," Doctor Banner mumbles, "You could have ended up next to Cap. He screams, you know."

Peter plops himself down at one of the lab benches, "What? Why?"

"PTSD. Plus, my running theory is 70-something years on ice did something to his brain. Steve's vitals never run quite right."

Doctor Banner says it so matter-of-fact and it startles Peter. Captain America always felt so untouchably perfect to Peter. He was the guy in the reels at school, he was the big man on the team that everyone looked up to, who even Peter looked up to...big fan.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Is there anything we can do for Wanda when she gets her headaches?" Bruce begins, "Or anything we can do for Bucky when he hears his trigger words? Or anything we can do for Tony when he has an anxiety attack? Or, or, or." Doctor Banner rests a comforting hand on Peter's shoulder,

"This is a building of broken people, Peter. We do something by making the world better. That's all we can do."

Peter bites the inside of his lip. "Do you think we're all too damaged for normal?"

Doctor Banner picks up some alien technology tool and tugs goggles down over his eyes, "Why?"

"There's this girl. Her name is MJ," Peter glances behind himself at the door, checking that no one will walk in and hear him after the week of boner jokes. "She's...woah, you know? And I want-" What did he want? He wanted so much it always felt like his chest was going to burst. "-her?" It sounded like a question. "No, her," he repeated, more affirmative.

Bruce patiently put down his project, "Normal isn't something that exists for people like us. But that doesn't mean that you don't deserve happiness, Peter."

"What about you, Doctor Banner?"

The doctor went doctor and Peter itched to speak, to fill the void in conversation. Finally, thankfully, Banner spoke, "There is a thing as too much damage, Peter." He went back to his project now fully engrossed, "Close the door on your way out."

He doesn't even really ask Thor for advice on MJ. It's more like Thor offers.

And it's terrifying.

Peter is sparing with some droids in the combat arena when Thor comes bursting into his practice. His loud voice booms, "Spiderling!" Peter is so frightened he doesn't aim his web at the last opponent and gets nicked in his shoulder by a rubber bullet.

He grips his shoulder and hisses at the pain. Thor slaps Peter on the same shoulder and lets out a hearty laugh, "I have heard that summer training with the team has been unkind to you. Since you were caught mid-"

"Thor, that's my shoulder!" Peter yells as Thor proudly slaps Peter on the shoulder again.

"Yes," Thor observes, "So it is."

Peter tries not to scowl. He fails. "What do you want?"

"I have come to offer my good council on the fairer sex. You are," Thor gestures lamely at Peter, "small and willowy and your looks are less refined than a traditional handsomeness." Peter's frown deepens. "But you are strong and have a good heart. These things will help you win your lady."

"Thor," Peter practically growls, "I appreciate your," he searches for Thor's word, "council. But...I'm good."

Thor's eyebrow raises suspiciously, "If that were true you would not need self gratification. Your lady would, no doubt, assist you."

"I said I'm good!" Peter tosses the rubber bullet across the room and storms out of the arena leaving Thor behind.

He didn't want to practice anyway. Hmph.

Peter literally bumps into Natasha two and a half weeks after the Vision incident and she doesn't try and roast Peter about anything. In fact, she even apologises when they collide.

If he didn't like MJ so much, Peter thinks he might like Black Widow. He wonders if its a spider thing. He's Spider-man, she's Black Widow. It feels almost poetic. Or it would if Bucky wasn't so gigantic and scary.

She steadies herself and Peter, bracing her hands on his shoulder, "You okay, kid?"

"I'm good," Peter nods.

"Good," she smiles and he finds himself smiling back. "How's camp going," she easily inquires, "That's what Tony's calling your training, right?"

"Right," Peter sighs. Actually, Tony called Spider-man Summer training The Underoos Do Better Initiative summer camp. He had even had special stationary drawn up with the camp name to send weekly updates to Aunt May. Peter loathed it.

"And you're settling in okay?"

"As best I can, ma'am."

"Natasha," she corrected, "You can call me Natasha."'

"Natasha," Peter squeaked, "Cool." He bite his bottom lip to keep from losing any cool he had left but it didn't work, "I'm sorry. My best friend loves you. You're so cool."

Black Widow, no, Natasha looked taken aback and Peter wished he could take all of his words and shove them back to nothingness where they belonged. So stupid, he chastised himself.

But she didn't run away or call him names. Actually, she softened, "That's sweet. Is this your girlfriend?"

Peter paled, "Girlfriend?"

"Oh, sorry. Just...Bruce...Doctor Banner, I mean, mentioned there was a girl you liked. I just figured..." she trailed off.

"No," Peter shook his head, mortified, "No girl. Well," he gulped, "I don't have a girlfriend, is what I meant."

"But there is a girl," Nat smirked conspiratorially. "Is she nice?"

Peter nodded, a blush creeping up his neck.

"And smart?"

"The smartest person I've ever met," he didn't hesitate.

Natasha pocketed her hands, "And you feel better when she's around?"

Peter paused. He did always feel better around MJ. His whole world since getting bit by the spider had been a whirlwind of spectacular triumph and unimaginable tragedy. His life didn't always feel like it was his, more like a series of events that were happening to him all tied together by his need to do good and to protect the people that couldn't protect themselves. But MJ made it all slow down. When he was with her, damn, he felt like he was in the moment. In fact, being with her sometimes felt like the only moments that mattered.

"She makes this," Peter gestured around the facility, "bearable. I'd be, I dunno, less without her."

Natasha pat Peter on the shoulder and he relished the touch. Not because she was a beautiful, capable superhero but because for a second her comfort felt like Aunt May. And it struck him just how much he missed his aunt. And how lonely she had to be all alone this summer.

The last Avengers Peter speaks to about MJ are Captain America and Iron Man, together. Tony's having it out with Cap in the lobby of the facility when Peter tries to slink by them unseen.

Tony tugs Peter under his arm and smiles ruefully at Captain, "You like it here, right, Mr. Parker?"

"Well, Mr. Stark..."

“Don’t bully him into the answer you want, Tony,” Steve snapped.

Peter tried to interject, “The thing is...”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony waved off Peter and glared at Steve, “You just hate the fact that he’s thriving. Its like you want him to fail.”

Captain America narrowed his eyes and took a predatory step toward Tony and Peter, “I would never want him to fail. But,” Tony rolled his eyes at the but and Steve spoke louder, “BUT I want him to live, Tony. He's a teenager. He’s got friends and a home and a life outside of this. We didn’t let him choose. He got pulled into this and he got pulled into this because of you.”

Mister Stark dropped the arm around Peter and stepped toe-to-toe in Steve’s face, “I didn’t make him put on that suit. I sure as hell didn’t make him fight in the war against Thanos. That was him. And it’d be damn irresponsible if I knew he was going to fight whether or not I said he could without the best tools to protect him!”

Steve scoffed, “Oh is that what you’re doing? Protecting him?”

“Yes,” Tony sneered, “I am.”

“Okay!” Peter’s voice broke. The two older men looked over at Peter and he suddenly felt like he should have run away. Slipping past them, staying out of this conversation, was a lot smarter than trying to interject. Even if the conversation was about him.

He swallowed thickly, “I just, I am really grateful for the chance to be here. And Mr. Stark is right,” Tony stood a little taller and Captain America frowned, disappointed, “I would have fought with or without the training or the suit. But...Mr. America, Captain...um, sir, is also right.” Tony’s eyebrow crinkled in displeasure and Steve stood a proudly, “I do have friends and people at home. And I miss them. I don’t think, or well, I don’t know if I’m ready to spend the whole summer away from them quite yet.”

Tony’s shoulders fell, “You saying you want to leave?”

“I’m saying,” Peter mumbled, “I miss my aunt and my friends. And I’d like to spend the weekends at home during the summer. Ned’s got a summer camp Monday through Friday anyway and MJ doesn’t like-” Peter found his voice trailing off.

The whole Vision incident had tainted talking about MJ at headquarters for Peter. He had grown to expect the teasing and the poking and the prodding. And so he braced from impact, for the sting of the two older men teasing him, but it never came.

Instead, the two older men were sharing a look that Peter couldn't quite explain. If he had to pin it down it felt like experience. Like they both knew a time and a place where maybe their version of MJ had existed. Maybe she still did. Maybe they knew what it was like to want to be somewhere else, with someone else.

Tony rolled his shoulders back, “You will arrive 8 am sharp on Monday mornings, got it, kid?”

Peter’s face lit up, “Yes, sir, Mr. Stark, sir.”

“Or I’ll revoke your weekend privileges. Training is serious business.”  
Captain America crossed his arms over his chest, a smile bright and bold taking up half of his face, “You have fun, Peter.”

“Not too much fun,” Tony countered. “Use protection. I don’t need any spider-babies running around.”  
Peter’s face paled, absolutely mortified he shook his head, “I’m not...we’re not...besides, she doesn’t even know....it’s not like that.”

“You tell that girl you like her, Peter. Because you never know how much time you have with somebody,” Steve spoke with more conviction than Peter had ever heard him speak before.

“I can’t tell her,” Peter blanched.

“Sure you can,” Tony shrugged, slipping his sunglasses on, “Easy.”

“Maybe for you.”

“I agree, you don’t have my zeal but you’re a good kid, Parker. And that girl would be stupid not to like you.”

When Happy drives Peter back down to Queens late-Friday night he isn’t sure what to tell MJ. Aunt May, for one, is thrilled to have Peter back under her roof even if its just for part of the summer. Ned has been slowly collecting Episode VIII legos for them to build together all summer and has already made plans to sit on the Parker’s couch all day Saturday eating May’s food and building legos. But he can’t bring himself to text MJ, to tell her that he’s gonna be home on the weekends.

She knows why he’s upstate, he told her a few months ago after Thanos and everything about Spider-man and she hardly seemed surprised, so he doesn’t have to lie. Yet, he can’t seem to send her a simple text. He hovers his thumb over her contact and never quite clicks it.  
When he gets home, after May squishes his face for an appropriately aunt-y amount of time, Peter decides that a text is probably not going to be enough. He pulls on his suit, slips out his window and swings across Queens to her apartment window. He toes open the door, literally with his toes, and climbs inside.

It’s late, Happy didn’t drive him back until camp was over and May spent over an hour coddling him, so he doesn’t expect to find her awake.

She’s not quite asleep from what he can tell but her eyes are drooping and the book in her lap is falling to the side of her bed. He drops his feet gingerly to her floor and catches the book just before it hits the ground.

That catches MJ’s attention. She blinks awake more and stares at Peter in disbelief, “You’re...are you here?”

“Irondad is letting me out on the weekends,” he can’t help but smile.

She takes her book from his hands and smacks his forearm with it, “And you didn’t text me?”

Peter winces for her benefit and tears off his mask so she can see his smile, “I didn’t know what to say.”

“How about, ‘oh MJ coming home this weekend’? That seems reasonable.”

“Vision caught me jerking off,” is the first stupid thought that comes to Peter’s mind. And for some reason he voices it. He’s not sure what makes him so ridiculous awkward and terrible but, man, once that’s out in the open he can’t exactly take it back.

She blinks at him, “Um...okay? Why are you telling me about this?”

“I just,” Peter coughs to try and stifle his blush, “Being upstate after he told everyone was a little much. I needed a breather.”

“Because Vision caught you jerking off?” Michelle has the audacity to smirk at him.

“Don’t say that,” Peter groans.

“What?” she teases, “that Vision caught you jerking off?”

“MJ,” he warns.

“Sorry. I won’t keep bringing up that Vision caught you jerking off.”

He steps toward her, “MJ. I mean it.”

“Vision caught you jerking off, did you know that?”

“MJ, stop it,” he takes another step and suddenly they are crowded against her desk so close that he can count her eyelashes.

It’s the kind of closeness that makes Peter nervous and he suddenly wishes he had a better read on MJ. She looks unmoved but he hopes that she’s at least feeling something. Anything for him.

He can hear Vision in his head telling him to be himself. And Doctor Banner saying he deserves happiness. And Thor reminding him he is strong and has a good heart. And Nat bringing up everything about MJ that makes being a superhero bearable. And, finally, Tony and Steve letting him know that it is okay to be a teenager, to have fun (just not too much).

“MJ, I-”

“We should date,” MJ beats him to the punch.

And Peter imagines he must look like he got punched. “W-what?” he stutters.

“We should date,” she repeats, looking more irritated with him than before. “You’re gone a lot so we don’t really have the time to beat around the bush. So we should date.”

“Yeah,” he grins, “Yeah, I’d really like that.”

“I know,” she states proudly.

Peter narrows his eyes, confusion pooling, “How do you know?”

“Because you definitely jacked off to the thought of me at the Avengers’ headquarters.”

“I did not!” Peter feels the heat in his face. It’s so embarrassingly intense.

“You totally did.” And she kisses him quiet. Their first kiss isn’t passionate or lingering or long. It’s a reassuring peck of the mouth, like MJ is sealing her closing argument on the case of the Avenger Tower Jack-off. “Otherwise it wouldn’t have been, like, the first thing you would have told me after not seeing me for weeks. I was on your mind, Tiger.”

“Tiger is not going to be a thing,” Peter replies, dumfounded from the kiss.

“So you don’t deny you jacked off to the thought of me.”

He grumbles, “I might have.”

And MJ looks so delighted he can’t even find it in myself to be mad. He kisses her, again, more properly this time. Actually, he thinks, he’s almost kind of glad that Vision caught him that late-night in the towers.

Almost.


End file.
